Dr. Ruth's Q & A
 My boyfriend of 2 years doesn't like to cuddle. Not during movies, on the couch, after sex, never. He will for a few minutes but only if I practically badger him and/or force myself into his arms, even then he finds some reason to get up after only a minute or two, thinking that's all I need or want. Needless to say this doesn't exactly make me feel great. We live 50 miles apart so I feel the need to make the most of the small amount of time we have together and this lack of cuddling makes me feel like we're not as close as we used to be. We still have sex as often but it isn't very romantic anymore & there's much less foreplay. I've told him that I need more cuddling, kissing and all those little things that generally make girls feel loved and cared for but he doesn't understand that those things are necessary for me to be happy in a relationship. How can I help him enjoy cuddling more? |
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I am 23 years old and I have a girl friend. We’ve been together for 2 years now. When we first started dating we didn't do anything for awhile, then 3 months into it we started fooling around and 8 months into the relationship we started having sex but pretty much from the get go I am having a problem keeping and getting a erection. We don’t always have this problem but for the most part it happens and as of now I don't have a sex drive, haven't for a while. I never try to have sex unless she want to and I know for a fact my confidence in the bedroom is shot. I do have addiction and I am seeing a doctor now about my addiction. I think it’s all in my head but I can't get out of my head. Every time we are about to have sex I know what’s going to happen and she thinks it’s her and I know it’s not her. I need some advice |
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I don't even know if this is going to help my situation...I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and a bit and for the past 9 months we haven't had any intimate contact what-so-ever. We had this issue before, and he confessed that he had problems when it came to that department. He felt he lacked experience and confidence. I assured him time and time again that this was okay and we can work together. Now, we are once again in a "dry" period. I've spoken to him about it and his explanation is that he is too stressed and tired.
9/10 times that we did have sex, I was the one to initiate things. Is it so wrong for me to want HIM to start something? I don't want to push him but I feel like our relationship is taking a toll and that we are becoming more friends then anything else.
Despite my better judgment, the last time that we went through this, I had an affair with a co-worker. This was a year ago. I didn't have the affair because of the lack of intimacy but because of the lack of emotional connection and commitment. He found out and long story short, we solved our issues.
I keep feeling guilty. I don't think that our lack of sex is due to the affair that I had cause we had that issue before I ever did that. The thing is, sex to me is important in a relationship. I need to feel intimate with my boyfriend.
There are other issues in our relationship but this is a big one. I hope that you can help me. Give me advice or set me straight. This is driving me crazy.
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I have been married for about 9 months. In total my husband and I have been together for 7 years. The sex was never WONDERFUL, but we used to have it quite regularly (about 1-3 times per week). As the years have gone by he has stopped initiating sex at all, and I've got turned down so much that I started feeling less and less sexy. Now I just can't be bothered initiating anymore, because I feel it's all one sided. In the past 6 months we may have had sex 2 times (both times initiated by me) I can see he enjoys it when we do it, but he never seems interested unless I make him turned on. We are best friends but I miss the intimacy of a sexual relationship with him. My big worry is that lately I don't seem to want sex with him at all. I even fantasize about other men when masturbating because he just doesn't 'do it for me'. I felt bad about it about a month ago, initiated sex but I didn't enjoy it at all while we had the sex, because i kept feeling irritated that I had had to initiate yet again after so many months of no sex!
I know that he used to enjoy porn, his preference was looking at older women on the net than having sex with me - which didn't make me feel any better about myself, since I was a live woman dying to have sex with him. But lately he hasn't even been looking at porn. what do you think the matter could be?
How do I get him to want me? Is our marriage going to fail?
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I´ve been using Tricyclen Lo (21 day pack) as my primary birth control method for several months. I´ve been taking it properly and it´s worked quite well for me. However, I lost a pill while I was about to take it and I don´t know what to do now! Should I continue on with the next day´s pill (and be careful by using a backup method for the next 7 days)? What should I do? I went online and searched for others´ advice and some said it´s fine to continue onto the next day´s pill...others said different things...Can you help me? |
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